


Caged and Reborn

by Lex_Noctis



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, Nightmares, Redemption, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-06 20:47:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3148061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lex_Noctis/pseuds/Lex_Noctis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Realizing her mistakes and accepting her fate was the only choice for Kuvira. Solitude and loneliness was to be her penance, but future can be treacherous, changing on a dime. The path to redemption is a long and hard one, yet her hope for change had been ignited by the Avatar herself.   (Kovirasami, post-Book 4)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I could not help myself. This is the story of how Kuvira, formerly known as The Great Uniter, had earned her redemption and grew closed to her savior, the Avatar Korra and subsequently her wife Asami. It is that kind of a story. How will it come about, will it be just an “arrangement” or something far more? Well, that would be telling. 
> 
> Kuvira will have to spend a long time in prison. A long, long time. She will have to redeem herself and earn her freedom. In the meanwhile she will have visitors, things will happen. The journey to redemption will take a long time and require much selfless sacrifice, but I'm such a sucker for redemption story, I could not resist. This tale will be spanning over two decades by my estimates. Expect several twists, familiar faces to appear, but most of this story will simply follow Kuvira with her POV. I will most definitely expand on her back story and why exactly she did a 180 in the finale. Hopefully, this setup is intriguing enough to keep your interest until things really get going. (Warnings and tags will be edited as needed.)

_Imprisoned, Day Eleven._

High in the valleys above the Republic City, the City still recovering from the recent tragic events, among the high altitudes one mountain ridge was hollow. Within the monolithic rock formation was an old structure, old by the count of the people who lived here now, old by the count of the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom that preceded it. It was old even by the Avatar standards for it was one of the oldest secret hideouts of the White Lotus. The structure well hidden under the surface was converted into one of most highly guarded prisons. It only ever housed a few prisoners, no more than one every hundred years. This time around it had two.

One of the huge halls was outfitted with fairly specific accommodations. In the very middle of it stood a little wooden cabin. Her new home – one room, only enough space to pace five steps in any direction – was all build out of dark red wood planks. Below – a plate of pure platinum, around the little box – a huge cage made of the same metal. One way in and no way out.

The cell she was put it was decent enough, she was used to austere conditions. One bed, a table, two chairs, some simple shelves for bare necessities, a few books and one light crystal encased in platinum. There were no extra windows or holes for the guards to watch her. She could not have escaped even if she wanted to. At least a prison like this afforded some privacy.

The raven haired woman was doing push ups. Her legs were firmly placed at the edge of the bed and her fists lay resolutely against the polished wood of the floor. Exercise gave her release. One, two, three-four. Her arms were covered with beads of sweat, muscles ached, but she did not stop. Her sleeveless white top was getting more damp. The gray jacket of the prison uniform was draped on the back of the chair. One-two, three-four. The strain in her biceps and wrists was starting to get too much. The former soldier groaned and smoothly flipped to her feet.

Her hands grabbed a cloth from the bed running it up and down her open arms. She then draped it over her neck massaging it for a while. Finally the woman grabbed the ends of the cloth with her aching hands. She groaned again. This was her penance. Whether it was intended or not, her rash, unreasonable quest had brought enough suffering to the world. To the people she only wanted to protect. To be dropped at the bottom of a well, in the darkest, most deserted corner of the world was the proper punishment. Perhaps, even too kind. Maybe, the Avatar had had a hand in that decision. Hopefully, in a long, long time they will all forget about her. In a long time no one will remember. She will live the rest of her days here, away from everything. Some day, perhaps, some day, the mistakes and failure won’t haunt the woman who used to be a soldier anymore.

She slumped against a wall feeling the wood more acutely than ever. A hollow smile crept onto her face. She very much doubted it will ever hurt any less. It was her responsibility, her duty to save her people, not to oppress them! She became exactly what she had feared and hated the most, what she wanted to protect them from. That realization hurt more than she could have imagined. And it was supposed to. She will have to live however long she had left with the pain of what she had done. Alone, in this hypocritically cozy cage.

Kuvira shuddered and slid down the wall. Her face averted to the small barred window in the wall. Unseeing eyes traveled over it pained with the memories she did not want to, but needed to have. Her face once full of determination was empty and gaunt. She rested her arms on her knees and sighed heavily.

 _This_ was her penance.

**. . .**

_Imprisoned, Day Nineteen._

The very first time she visited Kuvira could not fathom it. She had so many questions. Why did she come? Why would she? Did she want to interrogate her? Was the punishment changed? What happened to the City? Her army? What did Su think of her now? Just how many people did she hurt? She did not utter a word watching the woman standing the in the doorway to her cabin in bewilderment. What could she possibly say to the most powerful being in the world, the woman who saved her even though she had all the reasons not to?

The Avatar took a look around the room. Her blue eyes lingered on the books, the small barred window opposite the wall. Then she looked the prisoner up and down. Kuvira knew she seemed different. Her ostentatious attire and metal armor were gone. Her hair was once again tied in a long braid that lay freely on the side of her chest. Baggy gray pants and white sleeveless top of the prison uniform actually reminded her of the happier times back in Zaofu. With the bindings on her wrists and ankles it was so much alike her rehearsal outfit. Come to think of it, that was the first time they have met.

Korra bobbed on her toes not stepping over the threshold. Somehow for the all-powerful being she knew this woman to be, the Avatar seemed down to earth, calm, but full of energy. Korra cleared her throat and spoke first.

“Hello. How have they been treating you?”

What? Why? Was that concern in her voice? How could she still be like that? The dark haired woman shifted closer to the the wall opposite the door. She averted her eyes not wiling to look at the Avatar anymore.

“It's... fine. I'm used to this. The food is decent and the guards don’t bother me. No one bothers me.”

The silence that followed should have been tense, deafening, but it was not. It was just... there. Kuvira chanced a glance at the visiting woman. Korra was slightly leaning against the door frame. She was deep in thought for some reason. Strange place to be thoughtful. Then as if shaking off some good, but unwanted memory she turned to face the former soldier again. The clear blue eyes caught the sight of her worn out knuckles, the callouses and bruises from doing push ups and punching the wooden walls on and on. Kuvira felt the gaze and hid her hands behind her back. The corner of Korra's mouth twitched up.

“I have brought tea. We can have some and talk. If you'd like.”

Kuvira did not know what made her do what she did. It was an involuntary reaction. Something she was never known for. Always steady, calm and collected. But this time she nodded out of the blue and slid down on one of the chairs. Her shoulders slumped and she reflectively just decided to let it go. The fight had already been done, the force and determination beaten out of her. Whatever the Avatar wanted, it was her right. Kuvira sighed while the water tribe woman busied herself with the small kettle and the wooden teacups. She heated up the kettle with her firebending. Why did the guards allow her to bring this thing in here? Kuvira chuckled lightly to her own thoughts. She was having tea with _the Avatar_ , who would be crazy enough to think she could use it to escape?

The tea stood on the table brewing. Both women settled into the calm, nonthreatening, maybe even slightly sad silence. Kuvira was looking down into her empty cup. No doubt the eyes of the Avatar were on her. The words came out on their own. She suspected that the answer would only hurt, but she needed to know at least that.

“Why have you come here, Avatar?”

“To see how you are doing. To offer some tea. A friend of my assured me that tea helps to sooth the soul. I don’t know much about that, but this is Ginseng tea, I'm told it's one of the best, I hope you like it.”

And yet again Kuvira was at a loss. The same way she was during their long talk in the Spirit World. Korra was a mystery. On one side the Avatar seemingly did not want anything from her. No revenge, no admittance of her mistakes, her guilt, nothing of the sorts. On the other – she clearly wanted to have a connection. There was an understanding in her eyes, just like before. Understanding and... relation? None of it made any sense. Kuvira frowned watching the hot puffs of smoke come up from the kettle.

“I have accepted my punishment. There is no need to check up on me, Avatar. I will not make any attempts to escape. I have sealed my own fate and I will live with the consequences.”

The kettle whistled. Korra stopped the small flame that was dancing below it. She carefully took the pot and poured steaming tea into two cups. She settled back in her chair cradling the cup in her palms. Korra blew on the tea. Once, twice. Then she sipped a bit. The corners of her mouth twitched.

“You should try it before it gets cold. He was right, it is delicious.”

Kuvira sighed and picked up her cup. The aroma was very nice. It reminded her of the bushy gardens outside Zaofu. She used to visit the gardens with her brothers, the twins and they would... Well, no, those two were not her brothers. Not then, not now. Just like Su was never really... She squinted and took a sip. Hot liquid rolled on her tongue then slipped down her throat. It was like a clearing, exhilarating force cleansing her mind and untangling the knots in her muscles. She chuckled. What would you know... The tea was good for soothing the broken and damned. Perhaps, the Avatar should have given her the beverage earlier. About two years ago would do.

The former soldier glanced at the woman opposite again. She sat in complete silence for a while only sipping her tea occasionally. Korra was the same as in the Spirit World, but so different from the shell she defeated at the gates of her hometown. She got lucky. The Avatar was not herself back then. Now she exuded confidence. It's like she had found inner piece Aiwei loved to go on and on about. Suddenly Korra spoke. Her voice was leveled, reminiscent and the words were ringing in Kuvira's ears.

“When I was younger I thought that being the Avatar was all about fighting the bad guys. I was more like you. Rash, headstrong, open to only one way I could see to do good. I was blinded by my own good intentions. Punishing evils, saving the world, that was the only way. But I was wrong. It is not at all like that. The Avatar is the beacon of balance, the force that can bring peace. I know the difference now. I can see all the paths instead of just one. And you do, too.”

She did not know how to respond. Instead she simply sipped her tea. The silence was becoming more comfortable, filled with something: not just the absence of speech, rather something more, the change eluded her still. They drank tea for some time. If her cup got empty Korra was ready to fill it up without fail. She did not know how much time has passed until the Avatar spoke again.

“I would like to keep coming to talk to you, if you don't mind. Would that be okay, Kuvira?”

The sound of her own name made her flinch. The Avatar should not have to address her like that. Like she cares, really cares. And what if she does? The metalbender was perched on her chair with one leg on the seat and one arm hugging it. She could not bring herself to look at the southern native, she was squinting and inspecting the scratches she left on the wooden wall this morning. Hesitating for a moment she nodded. There was a sigh for the other end of the table and the woman seated there stood up.

“I will visit next week. Promise.”

“Whatever you say.”

It came out more hollow and doubting than Kuvira wanted, or did it only sounded that way to her? Finally taking a cautious look at the tanned woman she did not see any hostility. There was a strange expression in those clear blue eyes. It could not be... relief? The Avatar nodded to her and walked out taking the kettle, but not the smell of hot tea with her. Just as she was about to venture out of the earshot, Kuvira uttered not looking at the woman. This time her voice was stained, unsure, but the words were genuine.

“Thank you for the tea.”

The Avatar glanced back. She did not smile, only her bright blue eyes twinkled a bit. She picked up her pace and left the prisoner in her solitude. The guards locked the door leaving Kuvira in the twilight. She did not want to light the crystal, it was better to sit in the dark right now. The far light outside her barred window painted the floor with bleary lines and straight shadows.

She did not believe her. Not the first time, not the second. But at one point she had to. Weeks changed. The Avatar was returning to her every time, as promised. Korra, she... That girl somehow understood. Saw her better than she did herself. Was the concern of the Avatar, the most powerful entity in the world, her freely offered friendship where in her place Kuvira would’ve only seen hatred and resentment, was she even deserving of such a thing? No. Kuvira was sure Su and the Beifongs hated her and rightfully so. All the people she hurt... And yet Korra wanted to keep coming, keep talking to her. The dark haired woman caught herself conflicted at the thought. Korra being nice and understanding to her did not make any sense.

Maybe, that was the point. Waiting for her to arrive, seeing the understanding in the Avatar, at some point possibly even forgiveness... and fully realizing that she did not deserve it. Not in any way, not one bit of it.

Perhaps, _that_ was her penance.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the late update, I was incredibly busy for a while. A warning before you get started: This story is going to be getting much darker before it gets better. It's necessary to flesh out the character development and backgrounds that were not really made clear in the show. Specifically, this chapter features the chaos of interregnum after the Queen's death, dead and dying people, including one/two children. It is not overly graphic, but it is absolutely heartbreaking, be warned.

_Imprisoned, Two Months, Three Days._

Days passed by, weeks replaced weeks and nothing changed for the weary prisoner in her solitary hut. Meals were delivered on time, White Lotus guards remained disinterested and unapproachable; cycle of slightly different lighting in the underground cavern to signify day and night and the platinum cage – the ever persistent view out the window of her wooden cabin.

The time seemed to stand still for the former soldier. She supposed it will be like that for the rest of her days. The same dull routine. Get up, go take a shower under surveillance of a female guard, receive her morning meal, eat it barely noticing the bland taste. Start her morning work out routine. Read a bit. Repeat the bending forms ad nauseam even though she'd never actually would or could use her bending in here. Eat another meal, do the stretching and breathing conditioning exercises. Read some more while eating dinner. The same dull activities from waking to falling asleep. Perhaps, one day she might even loose her mind from the endless repetition of fruitless futility. Perhaps, but not any time soon. Kuvira did not really know why she bothered, but she kept track of days carving a tiny mark on the far wooden wall with the end of her just as wooden spoon.

Three days out of seven she would dance instead of keeping up with her bending. How bitterly ironic it had turned out to be. During the last two years she rarely danced for herself outside of necessary practice that had long since became like a second nature to Kuvira. She used to think there was no time for dancing. The people of the Earth Kingdom depended on her, there was always so much to do. Looking back dancing was one of the first things she had discarded in her blind rush for safety and security. At least now Kuvira had all the time in the world, ain't that right? Another pinch of bitterness.

The Avatar kept coming every week. That somehow, out of some inscrutable reason, became routine as well. Korra would show up every Saturday like clockwork with that same kettle and her tea. They did not talk much. Honestly, the former soldier did not really know what they could talk about. Korra did not seem to be all that interested in scrutinizing her decisions or even her past. She was never judgmental or pushy for... well, anything, really. The best attempt at holding a conversation the short haired girl had offered was small talk about how the weather had been warm and the reconstruction was going really well. Predominately they just sat there sipping hot tea in an oddly companionable silence.

It was rather pleasant, unnervingly so. As if to reaffirm her fears Kuvira caught herself looking forward to those visits. At least, that was one person she could be in a company of aside from the pointedly indifferent guards. It was strange, unsettling. Wanting more and despising herself for it. Deep down she dreaded what this logic-defying connection the Avatar was insisting on perpetuating would bring to the both of them in the end.

They were sipping Jasmine tea from the wooden cups, the heat of the liquid radiating easily through the pliable material. Unlike usually the silence was less that comfortable. The water tribe girl had been slightly fidgeting in her seat ever since she sat down. Korra kept looking into her tea and likely thought the woman opposite was oblivious to her less than cheery mood.

“What is it, Avatar? You don't seem to be in high spirits today. Finally decided I'm not worth the effort, huh?”

Korra's cerulean eyes snapped to her face in a second. Somehow Kuvira just knew right away that those bright, intense eyes could see right through her nonchalance in that moment. She averted her eyes concentrating on her teacup. The battle raging withing her was confusing and contradicting. She wanted Korra to keep coming and she wanted her to stop; she wanted her to be done with the hated, tyrannical Great Uniter and she wanted the Avatar to stay, sit opposite and drink that stupid tea. The older brunette wanted to be left to carry on her punishment on her own, as it should be, and yet... if Korra stopped coming... that would be... she would be...

Before the frantic thought could finally come together behind the detached exterior of Kuvra's features, the Avatar spoke. Korra's voice was soft and hesitant, almost apologetic.

“I... I'm going to be out of town for a while. Wu has started his initiative of transitioning the Earth Kingdom from monarchy to a coalition of independent states. It will require a mediator and, um, that would be me. I have to make sure everything is alright. And it will take a lot to sort everything out. So...” she gave her a sheepish smile. “I won't be able to visit you for some time, sorry.”

Kuvira's pupils widened and eyes narrowed in bewilderment. “Why are you... humm... Nevermind.”

“Why am I apologizing?” prompted the tanned girl her smile growing slightly. “I promised I would continue coming here. I hate breaking my word.”

“It's fine. You are the Avatar, you belong to the world. I'm not... I don't...” the metalbender sighed annoyed at herself with that sudden inability to articulate properly. “The people of the Earth Emp... Citizens of the Earth Kingdom will have the protection and the wisdom of the Avatar. That is more than I could have ever given them.”

“Wisdom, huh? Riiiight. You have gone form underestimating me to overestimating me, Kuvira. I'm not infallible, far from it.” Korra hummed under her breath for a while looking at the spot on the far wall. Then she put a hand on her neck appearing apprehensive. “Listen, the thing is, I'll be far away, but that doesn’t mean I'll be gone gone, you know? Would it be okay if I write to you?”

“What?” The southern native had an amazing habit of taking the older woman by surprise.

“You see, when I was healing at the south pole, all those two and a half years, my friends have been writing me letters. It was nice to keep receiving them. I... I only answered once. I wrote a letter to Asami and it, I dunno, made everything better, more bearable. I thought I could write to you and you could write me back while I'm gone.”

Kuvira chuckled darkly. “They will never let me have a pen.”

“Nonsense. Will you try to escape using a pen? That even sounds crazy!”

“No. However, I highly doubt anyone would believe me, whatever I were to say.”

“ _I_ believe you.”

There was another minute of heavy yet comfortable silence. The metalbender, once powerful and feared leader, was suspiciously interested in the contents of her wooden cup. They did not say another word to each other during that visit, not that it was all that needed. The next day the Avatar was already on her way out of the City and later that evening a somber looking White Lotus elder delivered paper, envelops, inc and a Future Industries fountain pen to the utterly disbelieving prisoner in her wooden cell.

**. . .**

_Imprisoned, Two Months, Eight Days._

The nightmares started a week into her third month. Kuvira had not had a single dream ever since the battle of the Republic City. Her sleep was dreamless, if a bit restless. However, that first night interrupted by unsettling visions was nothing short of excruciating.

It was all jumbled up, real memories, shadows of her deepest pain and fear, all smashed and tied up together in a slurry of searingly realistic scenes. She was there and she wasn't. Sometimes Kuvira knew she was just sleeping, sometimes it felt too much like the real thing, but even when she _knew_ she could not shake it. She could not simply wake up.

Ba Sing Se was burning. The middle ring engulfed in uncontrollable madness of fire, explosions, screaming of trapped innocents who refused to leave their homes and insane roars of the looting, pillaging mob. By the time Metal Clan had arrived there was barely anything left of the lower ring, ash and smoke rising from it like a black tapestry of chaos. The Queen's military forces were all but extinct, most of them actually joined in the anarchy of the interregnum. Restoring order was not an easy task, certainly not for the faint of heart, but that was exactly why they had arrived. It had to start at Ba Sing Se, precisely where it began.

Days and nights spend fighting the crazed people, putting out fires and futile attempts to restore electricity, fresh water reserves and food deliveries. Kuvira had worked her men and women to the limit not separating herself in any way, on the contrary. She took the most shifts, stayed up the longest hours. Taking on patrol duty in the lower rings in hopes of finding survivors was the toughest task and one she took upon herself most of the time.

The previously relatively clean and well kept streets of the middle ring were more like a labyrinth of burned and collapsed buildings, trash and forgotten belongings littering the mud and ash covered stone pavings. In a small alley to the left of her there was a simple cart, once filled with fresh fruit and homemade juice, now what was left of its offerings was either burned to a crisp or rotting in a soggy, stinking mess. Even in her deluded dream-state Kuvira knew what she was about to find, she remembered that moment. The moment she knew she had to do whatever it takes to put the Earth Kingdom back together. Back three years ago she walked behind that very same cart and saw what she could not ever forget.

Behind a cart on the ground there were two bodies huddled together. A middle-aged man dressed in laborer's attire. He was most likely the owner of the cart. There was barely anything recognizable left about his face or upper torso. The fire had taken care of that. He lay there clinging to the wreck of what was likely to have been his livelihood, a charred hand clasped on the equally charred wheel. His other hand was clutching at the burned knife hilt, the blade still lodged deep in his abdomen. The brown and maroon covering his hips and legs painted the grim story of what had happened. The merchant was attacked by the looters, robbed, stabbed, his cart broken and left there in the street only to bleed to death.

Still, it was not this undeniably tragic picture that made the younger Kuvira of three years ago collapse to her knees and break down crying. It was the second little body coiled next to the man. A little girl, no more than ten, was curled close to the man's side. She did not look injured, but the ashen face was enough to know. The girl had soft blond locks, for some cruel reason untouched by the fire, light teal dress was probably one of her best ones and the little straw doll she had by her side would be her best friend. The small hands were clutching at the maroon smeared robe of the man with desperate strength. There were lines on the tender, scrunched up face, lines left from the tears and the soot and the ash. The traces on the ground around, footsteps made by the tiny sandals the girl wore. She had found her father here and after endless attempts at waking him up, after what must have felt like eternity of crying and screaming and tugging at the man, she gave up. Curled next to him, clutched her doll and the fabric of the man's robe. The girl had suffocated in the toxic fumes of the endlessly roaring fires.

That was what Kuvira had found back then, that was what she had vowed not to let ever happen again. And that was what she expected to see even in the delirious state of her nightmare.

But it wasn't what she saw.

There were two bodies at the broken wheel of the cart, charred and clutching to one another. A man and a woman. Both unrecognizable, their bodies mangled and burned and horrifying. There was a girl sobbing next to the couple. Holding the straw doll close to her chest and tugging at the remains of the woman's dress. Her hair was not blond... It was dark black pulled neatly into two short braids. She was kneeling at the cart ruining her pretty green dress with the mud and rotting fruits. Her little hand tirelessly tugged at the fabric crumpling the crust of dried up brown blood that it had been soaked with through and through.

“Momma! Papa!” the breaking cry was muffled by another set of violent sobs sending shudders along the small body.

This was all wrong! The metalbender stepped closer her boots crunching on the gravel. The girl turned around and looked straight at Kuvira. Her little face was covered with tears and smudges of ash, there were a couple of small cuts the same as on her arms. She ran here, as fast as she could apparently falling more than once along the way. The child would be adorable if not for the look of absolute misery and unbearable trauma on her face. Thin lips curled, green eyes unfocused, red and full of tears, lavish eyebrows knotted together in desperation. The tears flowed freely down to her puffy cheeks... and over the small mole under one of her eyes.

“ _Oh, no... Spirits, no... This is not what happened!”_

The girl bawled on and the woman opposite was frozen in horror unable to move or speak. All she could do was watch as the little girl, the tiny version of herself shuddered and sobbed like her whole world was shattered in front of her eyes. The tugs on the dress became slower, weaker, her breathing faltered, instead of unrestrained sobs the girl was desperately trying to take in a heaving breath and could not. The air around them was filled with smoke and swirling ash. The little girl was loosing her balance. She let out a smothered sigh and crawled closer to her parents. With one last effort she settled in-between their remains and hugged the doll closer to her chest. Two more tiny breaths and she stilled. The picture of a little girl lying next to unrecognizable bodies, smoke and ash in the air, burning wreckage of the fruit cart – the scene was a brutal hit on the senses in it's surreal, morbid beauty.

Kuvira straightened, whipped around on her heels and... _ran_. Ran through the smoke and bellowing flames of the suddenly alive with screaming city, through the angular, uneven streets with odd curves and sharp turns. The people in the windows were all dead, they had injuries, burns and did not breathe and yet they were screaming after her. Screaming for her to protect them, to save them. But all she did was run. Run until there was nowhere to run anymore.

The street was barricaded shut. Mob of snarling looters and anarchists was on the other side, bellowing and yelling their curses. She remembered this well. It was one of the attempts to throw the enormous city into chaos again. Those bandits brought benders with them, ammunition and fuel to set the upper ring ablaze. Although, last time she was not alone.

In answer to that reflective thought a group of metalbenders sprang out of the shadows and took positions at her sides. Her fellow guards from Zaofu! Now that was a different story altogether!

“We're with you, Captain!” the young cheery voice belonged to Maya, a good friend and a partner. In guard duties and dancing routines.

A smile was just about to erupt on her lips as the smell of something awful and the shadow cast from above pulled her at attention. Kuvira yelled for attention and jumped away, but it was too late. The tens of bottles filled up with flammable fuel were soaring through the air and landing near her comrades. Most were lucky to dodge, zip away with their metal lines. One was not.

Three full bottles hit Maya's metal armor shattering and soaking the bender in amber liquid. She spun her cables in the rush to get away, but the streaks of fire were already on their way from the firebenders. Explosion of roaring flames in the middle of the street was massive, the fireball bloomed even dismantling the barricade in its wake. Kuvira lunged herself at the spot the other metalbender stood only a moment ago, she was being held in place by two of her men.

“ _No! Not again! Stop it! Maya!”_

Kuvira woke up from a scream, she could hear the younger woman screaming. Maya's death should have been instantaneous, there was no way she could howl like that, and still she heard her last, torturous scream! She bolted upright feeling the sheets damp with her sweat. Her trembling hands moved to her face and found her mouth agape. Cold sweat was trickling down the sides of her face. There was no one in her room, the guards only now moving to see what was going on. Kuvira could see the waving lights coming closer. The scream that woke her up was real, not a part of her nightmare; it could not have been made by Maya nor by anyone else in this room or outside of it. None of the guards could let out that icy, terrifying sound.

The one who was screaming was _her_.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Okay, this is a bit of a shorter chapter. I have to admit, I had to force myself to finish it. I still love this story and where it eventually goes, but I just don't have the heart for the sort of angst I was planning to unleash here. The mindset I need for this story clashes too much with everything else I have going on. So, I'm sorry, but this story goes on a bit of a hiatus. At least until I finish Forever in a Dream and my Mass Effect / Legend of Korra crossover story – Closer to the Stars. I will come back to this one, promise. And it is going to be an exceptionally angsty, heartbreaking journey as I have envisioned from the start. Until then enjoy this chapter and check out my other fics!

_Imprisoned, Three Months, Five Days._

The nightmares persisted. Visions of her childhood, the horrors she saw in the torn apart Earth Kingdom, twisted images of her actions over the years. It all hanged heavily over the prisoner in her solitude. Still somehow she gotten used to it. The nightmares were a part of this, thought Kuvira every morning looking around at the wooden walls of her shed. They did not come every night. And even when they did she learned to deal with them. The former soldier would bolt upright in her bed, guzzle down her water and get out of the little hut. She would run around the small structure in the confines of the platinum cage. She would run until exertion took its toll on her muscles and her head was blissfully empty of thought. Only then would she go back and collapse on the hard bed.

The guards knew. They could hear her screams as she was torn awake from the nightmares. The first time she had been visited by a White Lotus healer. Yet after a while they left her be. There was nothing physically wrong with her. Kuvira kept her body in top shape, even better than on the road during those three years. But then there had always been something to keep her occupied. Here, there was not much else to do except to follow the exhaustive routine. She was never a big proponent of self-discovery. Notions of the Air Nomads had seemed rather laughable. Detaching from the earthly burdens? Over-analyzing the past and inspecting one's motivation under the close eye was pointless. No one could change the past. Once a decision had been made it was done.

Kuvira was not used to second guess her choices, her actions. But here, in this prison of solace, there was nothing to distract her from the voices in her head. It had been unsettling. She accepted the punishment, there was no need to dredge up the reasons, deep seeded inclinations that had forged her into the woman she had become. There was no point. Or so Kuvira used to think.

She settled on her wooden chair in front of the little desk mounted to one of the red-wood walls. The correspondence items still lay there, untouched. Inc in the fountain pen had been replaced, but the neatly organized stacks of paper and envelops had not moved an inch. Kuvira hadn't even attempted to go through them, all the offending items had gotten from her over the days were looks. First harsh and irritated, then inquisitive like the pieces of paper had their own agenda, then empty and uncaring.

On the outside the desk had not changeds at all. The change was carefully hidden from the guards, not that they did not known anyway. In the drawer, the only drawer this desk was constructed with, was what kept the prisoner unsettled the most. It was filled almost to the half with letters. Some short – only two paragraphs long, some much longer. Pages and pages covered with inelegant but neat and clear writing.

Every single one of them – from the Avatar.

Korra kept to her word. She send those letters. Once a week, or whenever she wanted, Korra wrote something to put in an envelope and send to the person she owed nothing to. Sometimes she talked about the weather, how it was raining or windy wherever the Avatar was. Korra loved rain. Korra loved snow. The unbelievable girl seemed to love any kind of weather. When it was sunny she would ride that animal of hers. When it rained she would waterbend the curtain of drops to form curious shapes. By the way she described those antics, an outsider would not have guessed the author of cheerful lines was the mighty Avatar herself.

Sometimes she would write about the Earth Kingdom. How the democratic process was going, how the people reacted to it. Korra insisted that the people had a voice now, they decided their own fate, but all of them had her protection and nothing bad would happen to them. That was a nice gesture, yet they both knew bad things happened regardless of intentions of a single person, even if that person was the most powerful being in the world.

Sometimes she wrote of how the people still remembered Kuvira. Secretly thanked the Great Uniter for stability and protection she provided. The states and provinces that had joined up with her early on had flourished. Without the burden of unreasonable taxes to pay to the monarchy and secured behind her army there was nothing stopping simple citizens from living for themselves. Now, they had to share their crops and resources with the less fortunate states. No wonder many of them wanted to secede.

Sometimes Korra told funny stories about the idiotic bureaucrats swarming the capitol or new animal friends she made out there. Sometimes she'd even wistfully mention how she wanted to go back to Republic City, how she missed it. In one of the letters the Southern native mentioned her family. She was visiting with then at the South Pole. Between the lines Kuvira could easily spot the unspoken notions. Korra had from time to time missed her hometown, her parents. The Avatar would proudly go on and on about how her father was respected and loved by his people. Tonraq has been reelected as Chief for the second time easily, mostly because he ran unopposed. He had not forgotten the captain of Zaofu guards and how said captain had saved his life. Tonraq had not openly spoken out against Kuvira, not during her reign as the Governor of the Earth Kingdom, nor when the kingdom became an empire. Yet she could not grasp how he wasn’t furious with his daughter for remaining in contact with the cursed dictator, the woman Korra had fought with almost to the death of either of them.

It was an odd thing for Kuvira to truly connect with. She never really had a family, not of the truest kind. The Beifongs, or rather Su personally, took her in, but she was always kept at arms length. Accepted, but not fully welcomed in. After reading the elated words Korra send her about her family, about going hunting with her father and having heart-to-heart with her mother, about introducing that Sato girl and having family dinners, she felt envious of that. Though, that feeling did not persist. She did not deserve that, her fate was to stay here, alone. And on top of that Kuvira knew where her family, her real family, lay. Remembering their end would not bring anything but more nightmares to her weary mind.

Kuvira never answered. She read all the letters, stored them, but she couldn’t bring herself to write back. Some mornings she had to check if the letters were there, if they were real. The drawer was always there, gradually filling up with neatly folded sheets of paper. Kuvira found herself for umpteenth time staring at the carefully stacked envelops. It was baffling. She could not understand why the Avatar would do that for her.

Calloused from constant training fingers coaxed a sheet of paper out of the pile. She unfolded it, spread on the desk with special care. It was one of the latest letters she had received. Kuvira remembered being angered when first reading it, angered at the invasion of her supposedly complete isolation. Angered at the fact that the Avatar was informed of everything. But then she gotten in the habit of rereading that letter. Striving to find a catch, some kind of a trick between the lines. There was none. With a heavy sigh she began to read again.

**. . .**

“ _Kuvira,_

_hello there! It's Korra, but I guess you already knew that. I am writing to you aboard the First Diplomatic Airship. Hah, pompous name, isn't it? In truth it's just another one of those old Earth Kingdom blimps that the acting governor of Ba Sing Se got his hand on after your forces left. One of those Cabbage Corp green ones. Asami would be furious if she knew I was flying on one. She thinks Cabbage Corp could not make a decent vehicle if their lives depended on it. She it not wrong. Naga had torn off a piece of the hull before I could stop her. You should have seen the look on the crew's faces! Nothing like that could have possibly happened on one of your ships, right?_

_Yeah, I got some news from RC and I had to write to you. We will be arriving at our destination pretty soon, so I don't have much time._

_I have heard from the warden about your dreams. I'm sorry. I had to deal with bad dreams for a while, it was not pleasant. After Amon took away my bending I kept seeing him every night. You've seen how long what Red Lotus did to me had haunted me. Remember the Avatar you kicked the ass of for all Zaofu to see? That was really scary, but now it makes me smile. Isn't it weird? I was thinking maybe I had to get my ass kicked back then to get it together. I thought I was ready, but I wasn't. Anyways, I know how bad stuff can get to you at night._

_I hope it'll get better soon. You know, you could always write me if something is bothering you. It helped me. Putting everything on paper was hard. I was scared to do it for a long time. But once I did, I felt better. Katara was right about that. I'm not expecting to get an answer from you. Honestly, I don't expect anything at all. I just thought you could use a... sympathetic ear or something? It's what Tenzin would say. I'm not that good at figuring out all that heavy stuff, I'm trying to get better at it though. At least, I'm a good listener, or a good reader in our case._

_Sleep well._

_Avatar Korra."_

**. . .**

Kuvira was looking at the paper with unseeing eyes. Try as she may she could not find anything but sincerity in the letter. She could not understand why the Avatar was so concerned about her. However, the Korra's motives were not as important as the fact that she _did_ care. Somehow, someway the Avatar did mean every word.

Green eyes darted to the stack of untouched sheets on the desk. Kuvira licked her lips, her eyebrows knotted together, a vein pulsed near her temple. When he first reached out her fingers trembled. Kuvira closed her fist, clenched on the rebellious fingers until her hand was as firm and precise as when she repeated the metalbending forms to perfection. One sheet of paper was deposited on the desk in front of her.

The black fountain pen with a tiny golden half-cog symbol at the tip hovered above the empty white. Her hand remained frozen for a long time. Dark green eyes surveyed the room in the last ditch effort to find an excuse, anything to drop the whole thing and forget about it. Then those eyes found the letter. It was not returned to its place in the drawer, it was still laying on the desk. Something imperceptible washed over Kuvira's face, it hardened and then relaxed. A tiniest shadow of a sad, defeated smile tugged at the thin lips.

Her pen touched the paper.  


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey, this story is back from hiatus! Hopefully, I will be able to update it fairly frequently now. This chapter picks up from where the last one left off.

“ _Avatar Korra,”_

The two words at the top of the page strung together in a neat cursive were all she managed to write. Kuvira had been staring at the white field for what seemed like hours now. The feeling that was holding her back this time was not indecision or still not quite understanding what made Korra write to her in the first place. She was simply drawing a blank. After finishing writing Korra's name atop the page, Kuvira found herself at a loss at what she wanted to say.

Was she supposed to talk about the past? Apologize? That would be pointless. Kuvira wasn't looking for forgiveness. Some things were not meant to be forgiven. And that was fine. Should she ask about how Korra was? About what she was doing and how the transition was going for her people? No. She had no right to ask those questions. And her people were no longer hers.

She had pondered these questions before. And she knew the answers had not changed since then. Even though back then she was not quite clear minded, caught up in the wave of apathy, the conclusion was the same every time. A memory prodded at the corner of her mind, something seemed familiar about the path her thoughts were taking. It seemed distant, yet not all that much time had passed, just over three months.

**. . .**

It was the trial. Or whatever these proceedings were called between those who were going to be her judges.

In the small metallic chamber deep below the Police HQ. It was bleak and rough, lit by unsteady lamps – likely a tactic of intimidation for the criminals Beifong interrogated here. If it was their intention to intimidate Kuvira, they didn't hit the mark. At all. Her place was delegated to a rugged chair in the middle of the room, turned to be facing the small table of accusers. Her hands were bound by platinum shackles binding not only her wrists but also her fingers in a form of a fist. Her legs and upper arms were chained to the rings embedded in the floor. All of it – platinum, something she was impressed enough about to wonder where they had gotten so much of the rare metal and forged ready for use. Though, in her state the wonderment did not last more that a few seconds. What Kuvira was too busy doing was not giving a damn. About any of it.

They had recalled her crimes and perceived wrongs. She did not care. Her eyes skimmed over the faces of the people who were deciding her fate. It seemed they were annoyed at her silence and overall lack if reaction. The Chief reclined back in her chair, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. She hadn't said much.

_Of course_ , thought Kuvira, _the guard dog is here to guard, not let her voice be heard. Such loyalty._

But the sarcastic tone didn't hold much of a bite, even in her head. Honestly, she had a lot of respect for the Chief. She never wavered in her principals. Beifong name for her meant keeping order and security, if not always justice. Unlike the woman to her right.

Kuvira’s eyes fell on Suyin. As always impeccable in her green dress, with metal accessories decorating her outfit. She showed not an ounce of fear to be encased in a room with her. Predictably, self-righteousness flowed off of her in waves. The icy glare that was fixed on Kuvira spoke volumes if her own, oh so very personal, reasons for being here. Su did not speak much either. But her pointed comments and corrections were meticulously targeted. She made sure that every ugly detail of Kuvira’s downfall was listed right before the accused.

That had, unfortunately for the three at the table, no effect on the chained up former Great Uniter.

Neither did the long and wordy accusatory speech Raiko had released to the single member of the audience. Kuvira had even less interest in him. Her eyes had not flicked towards him, she ignored every attempt he made to engage her. After satisfying her detached curiosity of the other two women in the room, Kuvira relaxed in her bonds and fixed lazy, barely blinking eyes on some far-away point behind their heads. Kuvira had no interest in anything that was going on in this little room. Her most pressing questions had been answered back there. In the clearing, among the rose flowers and vibrant grass. Under the golden light if the new Spirit Portal. That's where her mind kept wandering to until the hearing came to an abrupt halt.

The loud bang on the door distracted Raiko from the speech. It sounded like there was a scuffle behind the sturdy metal frame, but then it was suddenly thrust open. A few men and women dressed in blue and white had entered. Kuvira glanced behind them into the corridor out of habit for noting the changes in her surroundings – she could not erase her attentiveness to the smallest details, no matter the mood she was in. There were several policemen lying or sitting on the floor, some appeared unconscious. The people who entered looked around and spread about the room taking attentive stances. She glimpsed a round white emblem with a flower inside the circle on one of their shoulders. A small smirk tugged at the corner of her lip weakly. This was the White Lotus and, judging by the way they had entered, they were none too happy about being excluded from this meeting.

The judges jumped up, obviously indignant at the interruption. Lin had fallen into a bending form ready to defend those under her care. Though, Kuvira was more than certain that the annoyance on her scarred face was directed towards her policemen rather than the intruders. The ones knocked out and sprawled on the floor. Disappointment. That was what she could seen in her eyes. The sparkle of amusement didn't last long and Kuvira turned her serene eyes towards the door.

Another man entered the chamber. Tall and sporting white hair and a short beard of the same color, he presented himself as if he owned the place. His posture betrayed a seasoned warrior even in his age, not to mention a truly regal quality to it. The deep crimson of his traveling garb were accentuated by gold trimming and sharp edges. But what had drawn her eyes was the scar, the burn mark that had became the symbol of both his dishonor and legendary quest for redemption.

“Lord Zuko!” gasped Raiko and Kuvira felt her brow twitch in slight surprise.

“Have I interrupted something, Mr President?” questioned Zuko striding inside the chamber. his voice was low and pointedly polite, one might even call it friendly, if not for the steel edge and the undercurrent of a threat below the surface. Though, unlike the three women in the room, Raiko seemed to attribute it to Zuko’s anger towards the prisoner rather than anything else.

“I am afraid, you have.” Raiko nodded and gestured to the room and chained up Kuvira. “As you can see, the issue of the war criminal Kuvira has been brought before us. A public trial had been deemed out of the question because of the unrest in the interregnum. However, since it will take time for Prince Yu to take the throne, and this issue could not wait, it has been decided that the hearing will take place now. We have already read the list of crimes Kuvira is being prosecuted with. She declined the opportunity to speak on her behalf. We, as an international tribunal, have no other choice than to move to sentencing.” He paused and reclined his head with a smile. “If you would like to join the proceedings, we naturally could accommodate. However, I insist that the presence of these soldiers is out of bounds. Chief Beifong will be handling security.”

Neither Lord Zuko nor his dressed in white and blue companions appeared at all impressed by that speech. Zuko regarded the man with an unreadable expression on his face, then moved his fingers over his beard in contemplation.

“I see,” he drawled flicking his eyes in curiosity from one judge to the other. “If this were to be an international tribunal, I fail to see how this could live up to such a resounding name. Where are the representatives of the Air Nomads or the Water Tribes? I'm sure Tonraq would agree to attend such an important meeting. Not to mention, Tenzin would insist on being included unless he had no prior knowledge of it taking place. If I didn't know better, I would have assumed Izumi had declined taking part in this charade, but she is on her way to the Fire Nation and did not receive any summons.”

“We could not wait! The people deserve justice!” cried out Raiko, his brows drawing together and jaw tightening.

“Oh, _the people_ , is that right?” inquired Zuko, the mocking notes in his voice far less disguised now. “Am I to presume that this abundantly inclusive tribunal is gathered to serve the people? That its purpose is not to alleviate your own guilt? Wouldn't it be preferable to shed your responsibility, Mr President? A public court would bring so much attention to your role in Kuvira’s rise to power. It’s far easier and prudent for your career to sweep her fate under the rug. And,” he turned his head towards Suyin, “I simply have to choose to think that this trial has nothing to do with your own failings in preventing the war, Suyin. Though, I would also imagine you would recuse yourself from taking part in it because of your past relationship with the accused. In the interest of justice and fairness, of course.”

Suyin narrowed her eyes, but said nothing. Kuvira could see the tension rolling in her shoulders and yet she had not made a move to defend herself or the proceedings. She could not say if this was because Su even through her anger could see the point in Zuko’s words or because her anger was too great. Too great to be a cause for greater embarrassment for her and Zaofu by association. Being reprimanded by Lord Zuko was enough already.

Raiko opened his mouth to without a doubt loudly protest and be indignant about the insinuations, but he was faced with Zuko’s raised palm. And in that moment the sheer force of the authority Zuko was displaying was enough for the words to die in his throat.

“Her fate will not be decided by any of you,” the former Fire Lord spoke firmly, “The White Lotus will take Kuvira and place her outside of the reach of the world. Both for her and the world. She will be kept in seclusion until such time as a true judgment can be placed upon her.” Zuko turned to look at Kuvira. His piercing eyes focused on her face, and that look would have caused a shiver if her apathy wasn’t stronger. “Her fate is in the hands of the Avatar now.”

“Now, wait a minute!” began Raiko, but this time he was interrupted by Suyin.

“Korra is not ready for a decision like this and…”

They were both placated when Zuko rounded on them with an icy stare. His voice remained calm and level, though the cold fury of it caused to cast doubt if he was a firebender at all.

“Are you trying to say that the Avatar is not old enough or experienced enough? Aang was fourteen when he ended my father’s reign. Korra had faced challenges beyond anyone else' comprehension. She is a fully realized Avatar. It is her destiny to preserve balance in this world. I would expect both of you to trust her judgment.”

For a long moment the silence was only interrupted by the groans and wheezes of the coming to guards. Then, Zuko straightened up and turned around to face the exit. He closed his hands together behind his back and asked politely:

“Chief Beifong, would you kindly release your prisoner. She will be coming with us.”

And Lin, after a moment’s pause, reached into her uniform for the keys. The dangling of chains and metal as she was escorted out of the building only served to loll Kuvira into a more relaxed state. As soon as she had been placed in a back of a Satomobile, she let her head drop on the plush back of the seat and drifted off.

**. . .**

Kuvira let out a deep sigh. This memory reminded her of how her life had been in the palm of those two, and how later in had been placed under a different hand. She squinted at the paper and began to write.

“ _Avatar Korra,_

_I have chosen to take you up on your offer. But I will understand if you don't wish to continue after receiving this letter._

_First of all, I want to make some things perfectly clear. I do not regret how my mission had started. The world was in chaos, Earth Kingdom was tearing itself apart. You were gone and nobody was willing to do anything about the disorder and mayhem. So I did. I accept now that this quest for unity had taken me on a dark path. My good intentions had been twisted by fear, I had given in to the desire to protect what I... No, my people had build. I was willing to do it by any means necessary. And that was wrong, that is something that I do regret. But I can not and will not ever say that I was wrong when I set out to stop the chaos._

_I wish we could have heard each other earlier. Maybe what happened in the Republic City could have been avoided. But, perhaps, as you say, you needed the push. For me to beat you at the gates of Zaofu for the world to see. Although, it would be selfish of me to find solace in your words. I do not believe in taking easy way outs. The truth is, at that time I still blamed you for disappearing. I thought I hated you for what you've done and what had been done in your name. I thought you let the anarchist go, you were to blame for what they've done, and then you left the people to pick up the pieces, to deal with the fallout of your incompetence._

_I was wrong in thinking that. I can not forgive you, Avatar, for leaving my people. They needed you. And I was furious with you for just taking off. But..._

_The reason I can not forgive you is because I understand now that there is nothing to forgive. I was wrong in blaming you for all the chaos. It wasn’t your choice, I understand now that you had to leave, and after that... After the talk we had, after all I have learned about you, I'm sure you have been punishing yourself harder than I or anyone else ever could. I wish you could forgive and not blame yourself for leaving those under your protection, but I know that you won’t be able to. It is not who you are._

_I will not ask for any leniency. I have accepted my punishment and I am at peace with it._

_What I can offer you, without the foolish hope that it would mean much to you, is my respect._

_You can do what I wished I could. Ensure peace and safety for my people. For any people, for the whole world. And for that you have my thanks. Doubtful though it is, that it counts for a lot these days._

_Take care, the world does rely on you.  
_ _Kuvira._

 

 

 


End file.
